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“It’s all we do.” And while teenagers have certainly always had sex, experimented with drugs, bullied each other and gotten into trouble, Sales is concerned by the way that social media magnifies these existing tendencies and makes young women matter less — they have less agency, less inclination to speak up about the online behavior that has become so prevalent. Our communication occurs more with nonverbal cues, body language,” says Sales.“There are studies showing that kids now are less able to have a conversation and make eye contact. Well, whenever you have a situation in which people are dehumanized, women and girls suffer more. It becomes easier [for boys] to see someone as a thing, rather than a person.” Case in point: the widespread demands for nude photos, sometimes by a crush or boyfriend, but often just from a random guy at school.Yik Yak and Kik: just two of the seemingly countless anonymous messaging apps that allow users to communicate with each other.Kik was the app cited in the January murder of 13-year-old Nicole Madison Lovell in Blacksburg, Va.“For most American girls, social media is where they live,” writes Sales, who spoke to over 200 girls ages 13-19 from Manhattan to Florida, Arizona, Texas and Kentucky.“We’re on it 24/7,” a 13-year-old girl in Montclair, NJ, told the author.
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(“Snapchat me that p—y if it’s cool” goes the refrain in the Yo Gotti song “Down in the DM [Direct Message]” wherein a man messages another man’s girlfriend requesting nudes after seeing a photo of her BMW on Instagram.) “They have conversations with boys who [ask for nudes] and they think, ‘Maybe this is how I have a relationship,’ ” Sales says.
“And one of the girls told me that if you respond by saying, ‘How dare you? Pretend like you sent them a naked picture they got off the Internet and it’s not even you.’ ”) In a chapter called “Thirteen” (all of the book’s chapters are named for the age of the girls discussed therein), Sales describes Riley, Sophia and Victoria coming out of middle school at the end of the school day in Montclair.
“Some sugar babies have Amazon Wish Lists where they tell their sugar daddies what they would like to have,” Sales writes.
“Everything from jewelry to silverware to furniture to magazine subscriptions.” The sink shot: When a girl takes a selfie in a bathroom mirror, often in a thong, and poses with her behind propped against the sink, so that it will appear larger.And it’s so common, it’s become a regular part of teen culture.